Latest News

Tetiana Grynova fled with her son Dan from Ukraine. A story about a life that someone else controls, and new priorities

Dan would rather be at home playing soccer with his friends. But they are scattered in all directions, in Turkey, in the US, or still in Ukraine. The ten-year-old also lived there until February 24, 2022, when Russia attacked Ukraine and thus tackled Dan’s life like no opponent before. 

This interview has been translated from German, and was originally published by the Salzburger Nachrichten.

Salzburger Nachrichten: How do you remember this day (February 24, 2022)?
Tetiana Grynova: It will probably always be the worst day of our life. Nothing is under control. Your life changes before your eyes and you can do nothing. You fall asleep in a peaceful country and wake up in a war. I was on a business trip to Lviv for three days, although we actually live in Kiev, and I took Dan with me spontaneously. 
Dan: Usually my grandmother looks after me, but she couldn’t then.
Tetiana: I’m a single mom, so I’m the only one who is responsible for this young gentleman. We went to Berlin for two weeks, thinking that it couldn’t last very long. We were mistaken. We are now living in Amsterdam because we have friends there and we can get by well with English. It is now already the second year, and we still talk about the same problems. 

SN: You could not take anything with you from home?
Tetiana: Nothing. We had very little with us. Our car, which was practical. But then you quickly realize that everything you thought was so important, suddenly isn’t any longer. The most important thing is that we have each other.

SN: Dan, how is Amsterdam different than Kiev?
Dan: There are bicycles everywhere. You have to be careful because they go very fast.

SN: Do you like it there?
Dan: No.
Tetiana: Wow- you really don’t? But you learned to ride a bike there.
Dan: What I like is that there are fries everywhere. And waffles with caramel. I like those. 

SN: What do you miss?
Dan: My grandparents. And my cat.
 
SN: Are you in contact with your grandparents and your friends?
Dan: We write to each other. Or we video call. 

SN: How have you settled (in Amsterdam)? Do you understand Dutch?
Dan: Goededag. (Dutch for “Good day.”)
Tetiana: Fifty shades of “ch”. No really, we get by well with English. Dan goes to an international school where the classes are in English, and that is going well. And in terms of my job, I am still a fundraiser for aid projects, only now no one donates to children with cancer but instead everyone donates for projects that are related to the war. 

SN: What has all this done to you, Tetiana? How are you today?
Tetiana: Everything has changed. My friends in Ukraine can now tell by the sound whether a drone or a missile is approaching. Children too. This is the soundtrack of their lives. That is not normal. Before the war, I thought I could do anything. You have many roles as a human being- I’m a fundraiser, I’m a networker, I’m a runner, I write, I’m a mother. And suddenly everything shifts, and you have to choose a role. Then I was suddenly just a mother. That is a very hard and painful experience for each person- finding out who you really are. Society has also changed and is divided. 

SN: In what way? From the outside, one has the impression that Ukraine is very united.
Tetiana: It has split into those who fled and those who stayed. There are angry comments coming in, or let’s say comments criticizing the fact that we left. That we were not patriotic enough to stay. Especially in the beginning, I felt very guilty about that. The feeling still creeps over me now, even so far away. 

SN: What will it take to bridge this divide again?
Tetiana: The acceptance of all that any decision is all right- the front line, fleeing, or staying at home.

Tetiana Grynova is a Fellow of Salzburg Global Seminar, taking place at Schloss Leopoldskron. She is taking part in the Ukraine Civil Society Forum, which allows people from civil society to explore future prospects for Ukraine and to be prepared when the war is over one day- and Dan is back home playing football.